Strange is relative...

Every kid learns the phrase “never speak to strangers”—and for good reason. There is a lot of bad in the world, so much that parents try to shelter their children from the unknown in order to keep them safe. Personally, my mom reminded me of these words every time I left the house when I was young, but my dad had a different take on things.

He had a very rough childhood, to say the least. He grew up on the streets and was involved in gang activity at the all too young age of twelve. The “strangers” on the streets became his family. When my brother and I were growing up he warned us of all of the dangers that we might face in the world, but he also taught us to always give people a chance to prove their worth. My father is to this day one of the most accepting people I know—and because of this I am able to make friends/connections everywhere I go.

 

Being accepting of all types of people does not mean that you have to like them or understand them—it just means keeping an open mind & trying to understand their story. I visited home recently and my mom said “you never were very good at avoiding strangers, but it works for you.”  She said this because I recently got the opportunity to meet my favorite hip hop artist, Logic, all because of a “stranger” who read my blog. The stranger was Logic himself and he happened to stumble across a post I wrote about our similar childhoods & how I admired him for rapping about the positive sides of life and the fact that he doesn’t have lyrics that are vulgar towards women like the majority of rappers.

Others from his music label, Visionary Music Group, stumbled onto my blog after this and connected with me as well & I became good friends with a few of them. I have since had the opportunity to meet the majority of those involved with VMG and the music world in general all because I tried to get to know a “stranger”.

Strange is a relative word, much like normal.

Photo credit: Nick Mahar

If the world was blind...

I am often hesitant to write what is truly on my mind. Not because I am afraid to share my stories—rather I am afraid of how others will perceive them. I was struggling with this the other day when it hit me…

I own everything that has happened to me—I own my stories. If people wanted me to only write positive things, they should have behaved better.

This thought was sparked by an anonymous quote that I stumbled upon. It asked, “If the world was blind how many people would you impress?”

I am the daughter of a violent offender—a statement that makes most people shutter. The thing that people don’t understand is that this statement does not define who I am as a person, nor does it define my father. I understand that more often than not children follow in their parents’ footsteps; however, mine have always encouraged me to follow my own path & to learn from their mistakes.

We are all so quick to judge every book by its cover, there is a reason those words are considered to be “cliché”. The trick is to look a little deeper. If more people did then they might understand that sure, I may be the daughter of an ex-con, but I am also a sister, a girlfriend, a college graduate, a former collegiate student body president, a dreamer—a girl who chose to define herself.

If the world was blind, would people still see your beauty?

Why I love QuESt.

Photo by: @jbenavente_ 

If you’ve ever met me or read my blog then it is pretty obvious I am a complete hip hop head. I’ve talked about my all-time favorite songs & about some of my personal story that relates to them BUT I rarely mention individual rappers. This kid is different though, & he definitely deserves a shout-out.

So everyone knows that I am obsessed with Logic’s music, but in a roundabout way, that lead me to meeting QuESt. A few years back I read about him on a few different hip hop blogs & listened to his song Everybody Has A Story (to see the exact blog post, click here). I was impressed with the message behind the song and continued to see him all over the blogs for a while, but then it slowed down. That happens a lot in hip hop, especially underground hip hop, so I didn’t really think anything of it. But then, QuESt opened for Logic on the Welcome To Forever tour. This caught me by surprise because I hadn’t heard anything from him in a couple years. And then Visionary Music Group signed him Summer 2013 and I began to see more and more.

In January, Logic read my blog for the first time which then lead to other VMG members reading it as well, including QuESt’s manager, Dino (shout-out @rhymestyle). We talked about music and I got the opportunity to hear some of QuESt’s newest project. When I visited family back home in California, I was able to meet both QuESt and Dino. We talked about our favorite hip hop artists, albums, songs, etc. and agreed that our favorites revolved around the stories behind the words. Throughout our conversations it was very clear that everything that QuESt raps about comes from real life experiences. He would be telling me a story & one of his songs would instantly pop into my head—they are literally the soundtrack of his life.

He may not know good coffee (sorry I had to), but he sure as hell knows music. If you love hip hop, you’ll love QuESt. To see his official twitter page click here.

Not just a women's movement.

People often ask me why I Am That Girl is important to me. This is why.

Four facts from my friend Amanda’s gender study course at Boise State today:

• Women are a more valuable illegal trade commodity than drugs or firearms because they can be sold up to 15 times a day, 365 days a year, for the rest of their lives. 
• There are 107 million females missing from the world today.
• Sex trafficking starts with girls as young as eight years old through brothels & forced marriages.
• Despite regulations in western nations, in some cases, sex tours from the US to the Third World are offered as means by which lonely men can find a mate.

I Am That Girl is a global movement that empowers girls to be the best version of themselves. It is a family—a community of strong, beautiful, and inspiring young women. It is a form of healthy media. Above all else, it is a safe place to sit and talk about real stuff.

This is one of those real things.

People have a tendency to turn their shoulder to things that they don’t understand. For example, a significant amount of people have never heard of the Holocaust or don’t even believe that it ever happened.  Exact numbers will never be known, but an estimated eleven million people died as a direct result of the tragedy.

How can eleven million people die and the world not know about it? I mean, that is a huge number.

Okay, so let’s go back to the beginning. How can there possibly be 107 million missing females in the world?

Many Americans believe that this is a distant problem to them; however, sex trafficking is happening in our own back yard. According to DoSomething.org, between 14,500 and 17,500 people are trafficked into the US every year. The International Labour Organization estimates that females represent the largest share of victims.

So what is the point of this post (or rant if you’d rather)? I just want people to be informed. I truly believe that awareness is the first step in eradicating sex trafficking. Females should never be treated as a commodity.

Reference: 

11 Facts About Human Trafficking (n.d.). In DoSomething.org. Retrieved April 17, 2014

Light my soul on fire.

My father has been in and out of jail/prison my entire life and as a result I am all too familiar with barbed wire, electric fences, cinderblock walls, and security checkpoints. By the time I was eleven I had visited the courthouse more times than the average person ever will. 

Lately, my father’s past has come up a lot in regard to my own life. People are quick to judge me because of my experiences when I was a child. But the thing is, that’s never really been my life—not by choice anyway. However, those struggles became the fuel that lit a passionate fire within me. 

Recently, I was having a conversation with three friends on a warm sandy beach about how attitude and determination make all the difference in life. Each one of us came from completely different backgrounds, but we all made the same decision to live a better life than that in which society predicted for us. One simple commonality in regard to our attitudes about life literally paved the path for one of the most inspiring friendships.

It is hard to come alive when your critics are constantly trying to break you down, but the world needs more people like you. More people who aren’t afraid to face their fears and defy statistics. It took me a long time to figure this out.

Tim Ferriss said it best, "If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think."

After all, once you have accepted your flaws no one can use them against you. 

You have to keep your vision clear.

Success requires a certain amount of both vision and action. Those who take calculated risks are the ones who come out on top—those who see the vision. 

Walt Disney was a visionary. He saw the world in a different light than others and yet still found a way to show the rest of us his vision.

Shawn Fanning & Sean Parker were visionaries. Not only did they create a new way to file share online, but their creation of Napster forever changed the music industry and may have even been the inspiration for the now common social media phenomenon. They saw the internet in a way that nobody else had ever imagined—they had a vision. 

Alexis Jones has a vision. She is constantly fighting to better the lives of women & empowering her peers to do the same. She strives to help others to see the beauty that she sees in the world—her vision. 

Chris Zarou is a visionary. He has approached the music business in a way that is revolutionary—stumping major labels along the way. He recognizes raw talent & helps them maximize their potential through a common vision. 

All of these people are completely different. They look different, act different, and even their visions are different. What they have in common is their will to succeed and their ability to share their vision with others.

Visionaries never fail.

What is your vision?  

Just in case you read this.

We don't need to have just one favorite. Our favorite things are those that speak most directly to us in that particular stage in our lives. Our favorite books, music, movies they are ever changing and we are always adding to the list. However, some favorites are more lasting. 

For example, I will never outgrow Star Wars and Fast and Furious (yeah, I'm a weird girl), they will always be favorites of mine. Another lasting favorite for me resides in music. The best feeling is when you hear a song that takes you back to a vivid memory. Nas, Big L, Biggie, A Tribe Called Quest-- so many of their songs are soundtracks to my life and will forever be favorites. 

For a long time I never thought my favorites would change in regard to hip hop though. I mean yeah, I loved Food & Liquor, but come on guys-- Soulja Boy, really? BUT, I was wrong. In 2009 I was surfing the internet in the middle of the night looking for music as per usual and this kid who was just barely older than me popped up on YouTube. He just so happened to be in about the same life stage as me in regard to his family drama, the lack of money, and the ability to find some inner drive. 

In fact, I recently wrote a post about how "hip hop just gets me" and mentioned him in it. You can find that post here. And over two years ago I wrote a post about creating positive change and in just a couple of sentences summed up why he is my favorite and it still applies today. Click here to read that one.

Logic is one of those lasting favorites for me. Maybe it is because we are the same age or maybe it is because I can relate to his complicated childhood, but whatever the reason I am grateful. Through his music I have met some of my favorite people and some major doors to future opportunities have opened up for me. So thank you. Thank you for understanding me even though we have never met. Thank you for adding to the soundtrack of my life.