I am a dreamer.

NOT a post about the woes of school that people often write. Please read it through until the end.

Graduation is in 113 days. I know that this is a fairly normal accomplishment for people my age (22), but I am the first in my family to go to college. For those of you who had parents that knew how to help you with your FAFSA, scholarships, classes, etc. feel lucky. I have basically stumbled my way through school.

I remember being so afraid my first semester at the community college. I was shy, everything intimidated me, and holy hell was it expensive (to me anyway). Not only did I survive my first day, but I realized that it really wasn't much different than high school. In fact, it was better than high school because people weren't so damn judgmental. I went to school in a small town (Twin Falls, ID) so when anything even slightly crazy happened everyone knew about it. In fact, it was quite literally always on the news. So, when my dad got arrested the first time, I lost about half of my “friends”. BUT, when the same thing happened in college nothing changed. I mean, my personal life changed and it was definitely a struggle, but at school—nothing changed. That’s when I decided that I was going to love college.

So, during my second semester I interviewed onto the student senate and worked with the sustainability council. Quite honestly, I didn't even know what the sustainability council was but I knew that being involved meant money and money meant staying in school. So during this time, my dad gets arrested again. Only this time, he was living with my boyfriend & his dad so I needed to take care of his stuff and move it into storage. My parents are divorced, so whenever these things arose I was the acting power of attorney for my dad. Between trying to balance work, school, student senate, and all of the legal stuff my relationship crumbled. My boyfriend at the time decided to find himself another girlfriend when my life was too hectic to handle, so we broke up. It crushed me. He was my high-school sweetheart, but it only pushed me to focus even more of my attention toward school.

Student senator then became student body secretary and I got more and more involved in the community and added on a second major. At the tail end of my sophomore year of college a good friend encouraged me to run for student body president. My whole life I heard people telling me what “kids like me” did in their lives and it sure as hell wasn't student body president. So, I did it. The other two candidates were equally as qualified, but I was more driven. I didn't sleep until I knew that I won the election.

That year I made more major connections than ever before. I spoke to the state legislature, met with the state governor, organized numerous community service events, and attended a national leadership conference in Miami. I finished off the year on the presidents list, graduated with AA’s in political science and business, spoke at the graduation ceremony, and was accepted into the Boise State marketing program.

Since moving to Boise I have started a local chapter of a nonprofit organization that I support called I Am That Girl and managed to balance my job and classes. I am proud to say that I did not take out any loans my first three years of school, but sadly, I have had to do so during my time at BSU. So now, I am trying to figure out my future, which includes paying off those couple of loans ASAP.

I am a dreamer. Everyone always tells me that my ideas are crazy, but if I don’t do it, someone else will! I am originally from LA and I loooovvveee the city. I dream of working in music, entertainment, or fashion. BUT, I live in Idaho right now, so I will definitely have to move if I want to do any of those things. So what’s the best way to make these things happen? That’s you guys. It’s all about who you know, right? So, if any of you have any suggestions or connections please let me know. Oh, and if anybody wants to score me a marketing job working in the music or entertainment industries—I’d love you forever. 

Headed home.

I will be driving home in 15 days 16 hours & 22 minutes. Yeah.. I'm pretty excited. So excited that I have a countdown on my phone that keeps track down to the second of when I am hopping in my car to head towards the Pacific coast. California was my first home. Where I was born, got to know my cousins, made my first friends. It will always be home. Idaho is my second home. I love Idaho. But... I have always dreamed about returning to California. 

If you have read any of my other posts then you have probably noticed a trend. I often talk about wanting to make an impact, wanting to follow my dreams, loving the ocean. Well.. all of these things can be done from Idaho EXCEPT being near the ocean. The beach is my happiest place-- we all deserve one of those (a happy place I mean).


However, for the next year (while I am finishing school and definitely residing in Idaho) I am determined to start a ripple effect in regard to getting young people involved in the state's politics and encouraging women to stand up and make an impact. Throughout this process I will also be doing everything that I can to find a way to move back to sunny Southern California sometime after I graduate as well though. Whether that be trying something new, finding a job that I just can't pass up, or anything else... I am opening myself up to believing that I can find a way to get/do what I want. 

Breaking barriers.

Recently I have gotten very involved with something new (I know big surprise). I Am That Girl is a non-profit that aspires to help girls understand that they deserve to love themselves by building community and providing girls with an environment where they can have meaningful conversations. I am starting the first ever Idaho chapter here in Boise alongside a very talented and driven woman, Amanda Graham. We just.. click. She is one of those people who you can't help but to be inspired when you are in the same room as her. 

Tonight was our second official chapter meeting--but the first one that was done completely on our own. Our first meeting was a small group of four ladies and we video conferenced with Emily Greener (IATG co-founder). It was such an inspiring meeting and it drove us to want to do huge things. Today our meeting consisted of six of us and we talked about the definitions of beauty.
 

We discovered so much about ourselves & each other throughout our conversation. It is amazing what kinds of conversations come about when we break down the barriers that society sets in place. If women focused more on building each other up instead of tearing each other down we would  be unstoppable. We all feel insecure at some point and society teaches us that if we aren't tall enough, short enough, thin enough, curvy enough, etc. that we aren't "beautiful". It's time to redefine beauty. Watch out Idaho... we are about to make a big impact on our quiet little state.

The Secret to Success- (straight out of my journal)

A few hundred years ago, Ben Franklin shared the secret of his success with the world. He said, "never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today". Being one of the most respected men in history, you would think that more people would take his advice seriously. Procrastinate? Yes. We all procrastinate, but why? I think that it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of making decisions, fear of failure, & fear of rejection. We can't let these things get in our way of living. We've been told our whole lives: "he who hesitates is lost" & "the early bird catches the worm". Our elders, teachers, philosophers... they've all continuously warned us about wasted time & yet many fail to listen. Sometimes we just have to learn things the hard way. We have to make mistakes in order to truly understand Ben's logic. It's just important to remember that even the biggest failure beats the hell out of never trying.