Building a character.

I love to read. My perfect day is cuddling up in a soft throw, wearing my fuzzy socks, sipping (or guzzling) tea, & reading a book that I can get lost in.

When I was in the 6th grade at Sawtooth Elementary in My. Hoy's class I read a book that lit my mind on fire. To this day I cannot recall the name of the book, but it inspired me to start writing. I used to write little short stories all the time, but I never really did anything with them other than bringing them home to my family to read. My mom is always telling me that I need to write a book, but how do you even kind of begin?

Throughout this blog I have mentioned that I want to be "known" for something, but that I don't know what that something is... well, my mom would say it is going to be for my future book. Maybe she's right? So after finishing two books in about 3 days (again) I started thinking about how if I started writing things myself maybe I wouldn't be so sad when every book ended. The reason that I say this is because it takes a long time to write 80,000 words that somebody else actually wants to read...which means there is no time to be sad (theoretically of course). Would it be strange for a marketing major who has two AA degrees in Political Science & Business to write a fictional story? I always thought so, but maybe not.

So thank you to Veronica Roth for writing some incredible stories, because now I feel like I absolutely have to keep writing. For those who don't know, Veronica Roth wrote the two books that I finished in 3 days (Divergent & Insurgent). If you haven't read them yet... DO!

Now I am working on building my main character. Sounds easy, right? It's not. If I am going to live in this persons head for the next who knows how long I sure as hell better like her. There are so many factors to consider, from her physical traits, to her emotions, preferences, name, family, the world she lives in, etc. I finally have a general idea of where I am going with things, but I'm sure I will change my mind thirty more times. But, that's the fun of writing. I am literally creating a world. 

Yeah, I'm a BobbySoxer.

People always ask me why I love hip hop. When I ask why it is so surprising it always comes down to how I look. Because my skin is white & my eyes are blue I’m supposed to be listening to country or pop music. It’s so funny to me how society tries to tell us who we are “supposed” to be. So the other night I finally thought of my answer to that question.

I love hip hop because I can relate to it. Now, I don’t mean that I relate to ALL of it. I have never done drugs, I’m not big into drinking, & I’m not a racist. BUT I have had a gun held at me, witnessed cops break into my house, watched my dad get arrested… all before I was even eleven years old.

I get that some rap is pure negativity—but there are also country songs about suicide, pop songs promoting Molly, & rock songs preaching violence.  In any type of music you have to search for the stuff that truly sings to your soul. When I first heard Monsters In My Head by The Game my first instinct was to make my dad listen to it. The song literally describes his childhood. There were only a handful of differences—his brothers all had the same mom, he was younger than The Game when he was first on the streets, etc. My dad literally got tears in his eyes when he listened.

When I was a freshman at the College of Southern Idaho I stumbled upon Logic’s music and once again felt like somebody understood. His songs talked about all of the negative stuff that he went through, but had positive twists to them. Not only was this amazing rapper about the same age as me (90’s kids shoutout) but we both witnessed some crazy stuff when we were young and never gave up. His music literally gave me hope. 

I witnessed more as a kid than most people will in their whole lives, but I made something of myself. Hip hop just gets me.

Serendipity.

Everyone likes candlelight, cocktails, & powerful women. Last night our local Boise chapter had our meeting at Red Feather Lounge downtown. Our discussion topic for the night was "signs of a good (or bad) relationship" and as always I was blown away by these wonderful ladies. Our conversation twisted & turned down many roads about our past & current relationships, consensual boundaries, & warnings signs about unhealthy relationships. 

Our chapter has continued to grow at a steady rate & we have had at least one new girl attend every meeting. I love meeting all of these new women. Throughout high-school I always had a few girlfriends, but never many. It's no secret that teenage girls can be catty & mean, but the caliber of girls who attend these meetings is unbelievable. It is amazing having an environment where we can be vulnerable & have real talks about things that matter. When we made the notes that we tied to the roses for the girls we included a slip of paper with the definition of serendipity on them. The reason that I chose this word is because I feel like I just fell into the I Am That Girl world and it has truly been one of the biggest blessings. 

It's not about the destination...

Happiness is a way of travel—not a destination. This is the most important thing to remember when you are on a road trip. Sitting next to somebody for 2,000+ miles would be very difficult otherwise. BUT HOLY COW do I love traveling. And I didn't even get sick of Joshua after all of those long driving days—I must really love him.

We drove throughout all of Southern California visiting family and site-seeing this past week and it was so fun! We hung out with lovely mémé Gisele, grandpa, daddy, & lots of aunts, uncles, & cousins in the Inland Empire for a couple days to start off our journey. I love family time, but I hate smog.

Daddy drove out to Newport with us next and we had lunch at the harbor facing Balboa Island at Harborside restaurant. Josh lost his fish taco virginity (who hasn't had a fish taco?!) and saw his first seal that wasn't in a zoo. My poor sheltered boyfriend. We also played with his nephews & niece on the beach in between Balboa & Newport piers. It was definitely a good day. 

Next we ventured closer to my hometown and spent the day in Los Angeles. Traffic was normal (horrible), but I had fun showing Josh around the city! We had delicious Vanilla Lattes at Urth Caffe, wandered through some of the art district, & of course I had to take him down to Hollywood Blvd. even though it is my least favorite place. 

• Highlight of LA for me: coffee/feeling at home. 
• Highlight of LA for Josh: coffee/Hollywood sign. 

Clearly the coffee is why we suffer through the traffic. 

 

BUT of course we are still children (yes 22 & 24 means child) and we had to go to Disneyland next. Troy (Joshua's daddy) went to Disneyland with us & Josh's sister. Thankfully I have the fast pass system practically memorized because we hit the 4 biggest rides before noon (impressive I know). We went on/looked at: Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones, Star Tours, Space Mountain, Matterhorn Bobsleds, Haunted Mansion, Disneyland Monorail, Innoventions, The Disneyland Story, The Disney Gallery, Toontown, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and Splash Mountain. It was a full day to say the least & I couldn't feel my feet. I will always love Disneyland. 

 

THEN my favorite. Another beach day. But this one was a warm (no marine layer), lay in the sand, & play in the water kinda day. We went to Moonlight Beach in Encinitas for a day. We taught Joshua how to boogie board, jumped waves, dodged jelly fish, & lounged in the sand. I found a cool little coffee shop called Lofty Coffee Co. while we were there too. It was right off the 101 & my latte was delicious! They are locally owned, source local grown organic sustainable products, and their shop is a 5 minute walk from Moonlight Beach. Yeah I should probably get paid for my coffee shop endorsements.

 

Finally, we said our goodbyes & headed toward home on Saturday afternoon. We planned on staying in Vegas, but the prices sky rocketed because of the "back-to-school" crowd so we kept driving until we reached Ely, Nevada. We stayed in the historic Nevada Hotel in the itty-bitty little town. It was.. an experience. But then again, no road trip is complete without  a stay at a random historic hotel right? We had hot water, a bed, and a couple of free margaritas so definitely can't complain. Plus, our room was clean & the prices rocked! 

Now we are home & very thankful that there is no traffic in Idaho. Some Idahoans might argue that point, but I always tell them to try driving (or walking for that matter) in LA for a day & you'll change your mind. Not ready for the reality of a crazy busy week, but so excited for our NEXT road trip (wherever that might be). 

My new favorite person.

How is it that I seem to trip on the air all too often— & while people are watching of course. Really though, I am so incredibly clumsy. This morning a perfect stranger gave me the best compliment though, “you walk with such grace and poise” he said. My response, said with a giggle after stumbling none-the-less, "thank you so much—I definitely don't hear that every day." The elderly man continued, "Possessing grace and poise does not always mean that you are graceful, but you are one of those people who have an energy that draws others near you. You may be clumsy, but we are blinded by your excellence and don't even notice those small moments". 

This stranger, this kind man, left me speechless. This, if you ask my mother, is a miracle... I always have something to say. I thanked him & explained that there were no words to express my gratitude, but I left feeling dumbfounded. He made my whole day. He was able to look past my flaws & find something good in me. If more of us could follow his example I truly believe that the world would be a better place. Yes, cliche I know, but I don't know how else to describe what I am trying to say. If this stranger could make me feel so uplifted then I absolutely have to pay it forward. 

We are all so quick to bring people down—why not lift them up instead? So from now on, if you notice an amazing quality in somebody, tell them, because they might not know it's there. They might just need you to speak it out loud. I know I did. 

I am a badass because...

To be yourself in a word that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Individuality is rare. Individuality is brave.

As for me—I don’t know how to blend in anymore. I was born to stand out, but for a long time I was too afraid to let my personality shine. When my dad went to prison I was ridiculed at school. Kids are mean & I lived in a small town at the time which means that EVERYONE & their mom knew about it. All I wanted to do was hide & blend in. I didn't want to answer questions & I certainly didn't want to hear from anymore of my friends that their parents were no longer letting us “be friends”.  I had to grow up much too fast and I lost a big part of who I was.

It took a while, but one day I decided that I didn't want to be this person. I didn't want society to win. According to statistics, the fact that my father was an addict & a criminal meant that my odds of following in his footsteps were extremely high. So, naturally, I joined the honors program, participated in DECA, played sports, won academic competitions, etc. just to spite everyone who told me that my “odds of graduating high school were not very good” & that I was "destined to be a trouble-maker". In the midst of my passive-aggressive road to success I also decided that I wasn't meant to blend in and I wasn't going to allow myself to be shy anymore. This was an incredibly brave thing for me to do because I was only 14 years old and a freshman in high-school—talk about intimidating. I thought that the transition back to my outgoing self would be hard, but it happened overnight.  I LOVE being around people. I am a complete extrovert—so much so that I can’t believe I spent those couple of years being so quiet & alone. 

After graduating high-school I didn't stop. I joined the Associated Students of the College of Southern Idaho as a freshman senator and went on to become student body secretary, and student body president and even spoke at my graduation ceremony. Every chance that I get to speak/participate at an event I AM THERE. I traveled to big conferences like NCSL in Miami and met some amazing individuals. Now I am currently starting a local chapter of I AM THAT GIRL and hoping to expand the organization throughout the state of Idaho so that girls have a place to go & talk about things that matter. 

So what is the point of this post? The point is that we make our own happiness. Be who you are meant to be and not who others tell you to be. Screw you statistics. 

Reading is my escape.

I read a lot. I enjoy reading all kinds of books, but prefer young adult books (because they are applicable to my young adult life). Yesterday I finished reading Reached—the final novel in the Ally Condie Matched trilogy. After reading the Hunger Games I didn’t think that I would enjoy reading another dystopian romance, but I was mistaken. All three books held my attention and left me wanting more. The second and third books switched between the views of the three main characters and that was kind of strange at first, but proved to be beneficial to really understanding all aspects of the story.

Now I want to see a movie! I almost always find the book to be 100% better than the movies, but it is fun to put faces to some of the characters and backdrops to some of the scenes. Plus, it allows me to relive those books for a few more hours.

 It is becoming more & more common to find books set in a “utopian” or “socialized” future world and it is scary to think of that being reality and not just fiction. People search for a leader and when they find that leader they will do almost anything for them. One thing that stood out to me in this book was how scary it can be to step out of your comfort zone and do what you believe in your heart to be right. Overall, awesome novel and I recommend that you read it! 

Honesty.

My bike was stolen from the bike rack at my apartment complex in Boise, Idaho. Awesome, right? On a better note, I am trying to stay positive & am hoping that the Boise Police can find it for me. I will be filing a report tomorrow (thank goodness I have the serial number), but this incident made me want to write about how important honesty is. There are so many good people in this world, but it seems that the "bad" ones always shadow over the good. I mean-- often times we pay more attention to negative situations than the positive ones. It's like we are doing it backwards. This world needs more honest people. I want to be able to trust my neighbors. I am going to work to pay more attention to the positive things that people do every day-- the random acts of kindness, expressions of gratitude, demonstrations of charity, etc. 

As for the bike thief-- I just have to say one word, karma. I am a college kid and don't have $500 lying around to replace my bike so I hope that your "grand idea" completely fails. However, I hope that your conscience kicks in & you make some life changes before you go too far down this negative path that you are on. People can change for the better. Every day we wake up & make the choice to be a certain way. Anyway, keep your fingers crossed that I get my bike back! 

Headed home.

I will be driving home in 15 days 16 hours & 22 minutes. Yeah.. I'm pretty excited. So excited that I have a countdown on my phone that keeps track down to the second of when I am hopping in my car to head towards the Pacific coast. California was my first home. Where I was born, got to know my cousins, made my first friends. It will always be home. Idaho is my second home. I love Idaho. But... I have always dreamed about returning to California. 

If you have read any of my other posts then you have probably noticed a trend. I often talk about wanting to make an impact, wanting to follow my dreams, loving the ocean. Well.. all of these things can be done from Idaho EXCEPT being near the ocean. The beach is my happiest place-- we all deserve one of those (a happy place I mean).


However, for the next year (while I am finishing school and definitely residing in Idaho) I am determined to start a ripple effect in regard to getting young people involved in the state's politics and encouraging women to stand up and make an impact. Throughout this process I will also be doing everything that I can to find a way to move back to sunny Southern California sometime after I graduate as well though. Whether that be trying something new, finding a job that I just can't pass up, or anything else... I am opening myself up to believing that I can find a way to get/do what I want. 

Our thoughts become things.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment no matter who you are.

Dreaming is important.
I dream a lot. 

I dream about adventures, obstacles, goals... and ideas. Sometimes when I wake up the morning I am so excited & antsy because my dreams that night were wonderful (I really wanted to type the word 'magical' instead of 'wonderful' right there, but I didn't want my inner Harry Potter nerd to distract from the brevity of my post). Lately my dreams have been about a life in the future where I am in sunny California and I am famous. However, never once have I figured out where that fame came from. In these dreams am I working in music, an inspiring author, a motivational speaker? I have no idea. But I do know that after spending so many years hiding from people & letting my fear of judgement & opinions strike down my personality-- I like the dreams about fame. Being shy just wasn't who I was supposed to be. 

So I have a new goal. I want to be noticed. But not for something dumb... we all know what kinds of things I am referring to here. I want to be worthy of the fame that I experience in all of my recent dreams. I want to impact lives. I will impact lives. 

Breaking barriers.

Recently I have gotten very involved with something new (I know big surprise). I Am That Girl is a non-profit that aspires to help girls understand that they deserve to love themselves by building community and providing girls with an environment where they can have meaningful conversations. I am starting the first ever Idaho chapter here in Boise alongside a very talented and driven woman, Amanda Graham. We just.. click. She is one of those people who you can't help but to be inspired when you are in the same room as her. 

Tonight was our second official chapter meeting--but the first one that was done completely on our own. Our first meeting was a small group of four ladies and we video conferenced with Emily Greener (IATG co-founder). It was such an inspiring meeting and it drove us to want to do huge things. Today our meeting consisted of six of us and we talked about the definitions of beauty.
 

We discovered so much about ourselves & each other throughout our conversation. It is amazing what kinds of conversations come about when we break down the barriers that society sets in place. If women focused more on building each other up instead of tearing each other down we would  be unstoppable. We all feel insecure at some point and society teaches us that if we aren't tall enough, short enough, thin enough, curvy enough, etc. that we aren't "beautiful". It's time to redefine beauty. Watch out Idaho... we are about to make a big impact on our quiet little state.

The world needs people who come alive...

Do you ever have those amazing conversations that leave you feeling like you can literally take on the world? Those are my favorite. 

Today I met with some awesome/inspiring women and talked about opportunities, how important it is to network, and about life in general. Throughout this conversation I gained more confidence about my abilities to be a successful leader and discovered that I need to work on being more consistent in my business practices. 

I don't know if there is something in us when we are in our early twenties that makes us feel invincible, but I literally feel like my opportunities are endless. Instead of being encouraged to do what we love we are encouraged to do what society labels as "the responsible thing". Can't I do both? After all,  I'm finishing my senior year in college, have had a ton of leadership experience, and am starting a local chapter of I Am That Girl all whilst dreaming of these crazy things that I want to achieve that are deemed impossible. So what if it is hard & very few make it-- I am a hard worker & more determined than 99% of this world.

"If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think." - Tim Ferriss